“Don’t Go Out Sad: The High-Top Hustler of DC”
“Don’t Go Out Sad: The High-Top Hustler of DC” (A satirical short story in the spirit of Turtledove meets Chappelle, but no one gets roasted too hard.) It was a brisk October morning in Washington, D.C., the kind where politicians wear Patagonia to pretend they’re regular folks and interns drink oat-milk lattes to forget they owe $200k in student loans. But one man wasn’t concerned with either Patagonia nor politics. No — he was focused on soles . His name? Don’t Go Out Sad . That’s not a motto. That’s his actual, legally changed name. (Formerly Darrell Quinton DeVaughn III, but that was before he got enlightened in a Denny’s parking lot after watching a National Guard TikTok.) Don’t Go Out Sad — or "Sad" to his friends, ironically — ran a wildly successful high-top sneaker business out of a converted food truck parked permanently two blocks from the Capitol. His brand? Guard Kicks™ . His clientele? Everyone from National Guardsmen in full camo to aides from both sides...
